The Agony and the Becstacy: October Update and Milestones

“Seriously, you need new jeans; those look all baggy and gross.”- Everyone

“Whatever, they do not!”- Me

5 months of working out and October 6^th, I considered the fact that I might need new jeans. The following is a TRUE and TMI story.

I’m strutting to the bathroom after hydrating all day (very important!) mentally thought I had unzipped and pulled down said jeans. Turns out, I didn’t unzip at all but STILL pulled them down – hear that boys- jeans should not be removable without a zipper, at least for urination....right?

The details of what happened next are self explanatory but DUDE that was pretty awesome considering 5 months ago, I had to suck it in with spanx to pull those suckers on and STILL ended up wishing everyone a top of the muffin.

Also proves that I don’t listen to ANYONE and just need to figure out things on my own. Smiley Face

Also proves….sigh, that I guess, I supposedly, maybe, perhaps, definitely need new jeans.

****MAJOR MILESTONE ALERT: 10-10-10****

After a not gym appropriate meal of In n Out (note I drank water and didn’t inhale all the fries as I usually do) followed by the most AMAZING Sundae at Ghirardelli Square (note I ate about ¾” of it and ordered it with bananas, obvs REMOVING calories, right?!) on Saturday night, I awoke on Sunday morning feeling fabulous and (hurrah!) hangover free from the debauchery of Friday night (a practice I have been sacrificing for the love of blog, and my waistline). Something was different.

I had this new energy. I had pulled back from running a lot since I had some pain above my right ankle and in my midfoot (no comment!) so I was starting over slow again with increasing my distance about ¼” of a mile every other day. I was up to about 2 miles. This day was different. This day, I RAN THREE MILES. I was a machine. I was on fire. I hadn’t SWEAT that much since….well….nevermind (winky face!).

Since I felt like I had burned 10,000 calories from that run (results not typical) I thought that was an opportune time to take new photos and measurements. So BEHOLD the -notquiteas-HARSH REALITY:

Measurements from 1O/10 and the difference from 7/25.

Thighs: 23" (-1”)

Hips: 36 1/2" (-2.5”)

Waist: 29" (-1”)

Chest: 35 1/2" (-1/2” I want that back, plz!)

Weight: 155 lbs (-7 lbs, with a total of -15 lbs since June!)

September to Remember

Among the 7 million reasons I have to get in shape (increasing self esteem, more energy, landing a man….) one of the major inital motivators was the trip to Hawaii I took in September with my sister and mother, both about 6 inches shorter and 100 pounds lighter than me….somehow they have the adorbs Irish genes and I am the pillaging Viking. I digress.

Hawaii is a gorgeous, romantic (ahem, unless with aforementioned sister and mother, love them I do, but next time I am definitely going with my future boyfriend and/or paying a male escort), tropical locale that I have been to twice before and never enjoyed it as much as I should have because….BATHING SUITS ARE THE SPAWN OF THE DEVIL! Fact.

So, back in May I said to myself,

“Self, you will land a man – I mean, Self, you are going to Hawaii in 4 months and you WILL wear a bikini and you WILL rock it or at least pretend to because you WILL post your bikini pics on your blog to mark your progress and WILL be discovered by Chelsea Hander AND Ellen and become their BFF!” Fact.

Cut to 4 months later, I still have alot of work to do, but, I feel pretty damn good!

Here I am on the beach in Kauai – much love to Sister for the sepia tone so no one is blinded by my stomach that hadn’t seen the light of day in a million years!

However, loyal reader(s?), listen up. On a 7 day trip to Hawaii, it is ALWAYS important to apply and reapply and reapply and reapply (and if you are a pale Nordic Princess like me, REAPPLY AGAIN!) sunscreen.

I failed to do this and thus was so burned on DAY 2 that I was reduced to a One Piece bathing suit + tanktop for the rest of the trip. Cruel cruel irony but I didn't let that stop my fierce pose on Waikiki Beach even if it hurt like hell!

Sidenote: My apologies to EVERYONE who had to suffer the aftermath of my peeling skin! I think there is a hot tub in Park City that needs to be replaced. Oops....I mean, Mahalo!

Jeans.Don't.Lie!

Special K is RIGHT!

We can convince ourselves that we are a size 6…8...22 and go along with that notion until the cows come home (no pun intended....well, in my case, it is SO intented) but the truth of the matter is that:

Jeans Don’t Lie!

With my aplogies in advance, observe the following photos:

The one on the left was me in April of this year on a party trolly for my Birthday.

---***Hellooooo!***----***Problem!****---

I know I was the birthday girl and all (and ironically getting action on a semi regular basis - go figure!) but good Lord, this is NOT okay! This takes the expression "top of the muffin to you" to a whole new level. I am even wearing Spanx because I recall drinking until I didn't feel like I was suffocating in them. Happy Birthday to me!

Now, observe the photo on the right, taken at the end of August at my favorite place - besides a party trolly or the Jelly Belly factory - BOOT BARN. Yes, those are the same jeans and (despite the dramatic pose) they are pretty close to fitting me like they are supposed to. Progress. The boots definitely help, but I didn't have an extra $200.oo to spend that day. Next time.

These jeans are a size 10, and I am sure I will be a size 1o for quite some time simply because I had convinced myself that I was never above a size 10. Not acceptable behavior. I am learning more and more each day to love my body and part of that just happens to be because I work out like a crazy person most mornings. If I hated it, I wouldn't do it. I have started a routine and stopped before, but this is the longest I have gone and I am truly loving it and the results I am getting. Having a bestie to blog with and keep me going also helps, I encourage everyone to get a workout buddy, even if they live far away because it keeps you accountable.

Stay tuned for a weight loss update and, gulp, bathing suit photos from my trip to Hawaii. That is a promise AND a threat.

Until next time, America: Work. Work Out. Work It.